Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
