According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize