playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
