guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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