we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
