I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
