Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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