Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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