roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
