She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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