just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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