arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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