Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
