When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
