didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
