when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
