I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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