I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
