hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
