how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
