ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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