STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
