dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
