small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
