Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
