I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
