she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
