so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
