sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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