So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
