Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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