this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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