Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
