She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
