Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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