And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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