And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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