he thought i was a dude.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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