I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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