Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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