Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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