I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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