Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
