So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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