we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
