We're facebook friends in real life
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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