some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
