The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
