I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
