i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is wine microwaveable?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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