Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
