HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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