I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish i was in the wii world.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
