ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
