Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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