I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
honey bunches of taint.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
