she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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