That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
