My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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