The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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